Tricks and Jokes

R&B earned some pocket money in England by painting grandmas shed. R went straightway to the toy shop, tricks and jokes rack. I tried to interest him in some very convincing plastic cats droppings, arguing that with so many cats in our area it would be an easy trick. When the man behind the counter heard me saying this, he became very excited and reached under the counter for what he assured me was the very best false turd ever. It was of such glistening animal realism that I took an involuntary step back. I assured R that he would get me every time with that one. R was unmoved. He trawled the display rack silently. B tried to persuade him to buy the itching powder, the false blood, the ink which stains your friends' treasured possessions and then disappears 10 minutes later, the soap which turns black and the pretend glow tipped cigarrettes. R was unmoved. Finally he found the one thing he wanted and paid £1.25 for a plastic calculator which sprays water in your eye when you press a button.

When we got home to France they decided they had to try it out at school, for not only are French people unaccustomed to tricks and jokes, but calculators are Banned with a capital B. Fun assured.

B took the morning shift. He got everyone in his class and also 4 teachers. The music teacher liked it so much he tried it out on two others. Then B passed it to R through a hole in the Fence. After R had organised the self-spraying of every child in the playground, he and his friend E hatched a cunning plot. E went and told on R that he had a calculator - disgruntled chalkie comes over on a mission to relieve R of banned object, 'But it is not real, press the button and see' says R, whereby chalkie gets it in the eye and all roll about laughing.

I wondered if I would be able to show my face again, but to the credit of all concerned, nobody took it badly, and if I want to open a tricks and jokes shop my future is assured, according to R&B's friends.