I have mobile phone therefore I am

...and conversely, I do not have mobile phone therefore I'm nobody
I've just spent an hour and a half trying to book an airline ticket online.  I have to book it online because if I phone, not only will I pay for the tedious wait and the tedious phone call, but the fares will be higher.

It took an hour and a half partly because of a technical problem on their site, and partly because my card wouldn't work.  It doesn't work a lot nowadays, occasionally in a shop, for some online purchases, but it usually works by phone.  I've  tried everything, talking to the people selling, to my bank, but no-one took any responsibility and nobody had any idea.

Today, my bank suggested the reason might be that I have not registered my mobile phone with them.  (despite the fact I don't use one and they never mentioned it).  Because, new 'security systems' exist which work as follows;  when you try to pay, the system sends you an SMS on your mobile phone, if you don't have a mobile phone, or if it isn't working for some reason or you forgot it or someone stole THEN TOUGH YOU CAN'T PAY.  No ticket home.  No nothing.

Please, I asked my telephone bank counsellor, could they send it to my email address?  My computer is after all much less likely to be stolen - 50 percent of mobile phone owners say their phone was stolen in the last 3 years.  The answer NO, the 'can't do anything about it' response, didn't even know who sets up the new security systems, who I can contact, even the banks apparently are helpless against the erosion of privacy, rights and freedom in the name of 'security'.

So as more and more of us are forced and encouraged to buy online, with shop closures, and with the increase in availability uniquely online (especially travel)  not to mention better prices the issue is this:

Being forced to buy a mobile phone in order to have the right to buy is a human rights and freedom of choice violation.

Here are some reasons why I choose not to use a mobile phone

• Health issues - electromagnet waves penetrate the body
• Privacy invasion I don't want to be contacted by anyone and everyone, selling me things, finding out where I am, expecting immediate reply, endless messages from the telephone company trying to sell me things I don't want to think about.   I might want to keep one just for close family and emergencies - I don't want to accessible to everyone all the time, to be open to cell-phone tracking, the taking and using my data without my permission.
• Security aspect - so easily stolen, so much information on it.
• Financial aspect - it's not cheap and they're always trying to sell you more.
• Over consuming issues;  the endless manufacture of machines which break and are dumped and replaced
• Social problems;  expecting immediate reply and 24/7 availability, 'music', buzzing outbursts interrupt all conversations, prevent intimacy or any kind of deep meaningful communication, people running around talking apparently at you but into their phone, can't do nothing for one second without fiddling with, never where they are always on the phone, having to hear other people's one-sided personal conversations wherever I go.
• Personal identity issues;  the idea that if I don't have a phone and don't have it on, I can't function, I am not complete.  I don't want to become dependent on this machine for friends, communication of all kinds, information, avoiding boredom... I am complete without it.

Well, I think that's quite enough reason not to buy into mobile phones.

I searched online to see if anyone else had come up with this issue, but was unable to find a single word, but found plenty of things to do with selling phones.  Ideas anyone?  Or do I meekly buy a mobile phone and hand over my details to the bank like everyone else?

The benefits of barley flour

Nobody seems to know about this flour, it's one of my favourite kitchen ingredients, so here's a plug;

rich in minerals and B vitamins, source of fibre, nourishing, soothing and easy to digest, a thickener, adds 'elastic' texture, it does contain gluten but is a change and a rest from wheat, lots of 'medical' properties, here are some examples of how I use it;

• 30 percent in bread for a more bouncy texture (also pancakes, pastry, cakes)
• Home made gnocchi, mashed potato and egg yolk, plus enough barley flour to make it possible to roll into a sausage and cut up, holds together in water much better than with flour-based ones
• Barley porridge, one cup water, one spoon barley, heat and whisk until thickened,  add honey etc if required, helps soothe the digestion
• As a wholemeal and organic replacement for American OGM cornflour, eg thickens gravy, sauces, fruit tarts, 
• Add to soups for creamy texture thickening properties and nourishment...

School Play

Here is the advert for B's school play,  which I am proud to announce was drawn, designed and executed by B using self-taught art design and computer skills.  Opening night tomorrow...

Channelling Muttley

R has developed a laugh like Muttley, for much the same reasons.  In fact he is rather like Muttley all round, uncomplicated,  faithful, always willing to help out, sees the funny side of others' misfortunes,  grumbles if he doesn't get what he wants and says gimmegimmegimme gimme and yehyehyehyehyeh to get what he what he wants.

I decided to show R an episode of Dick Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines (Catch the pigeon).  R said, in a humourless voice;  I don't laugh like Muttley.  Then he said 'do they ever catch the pigeon?'  and then he said 'is this all that happens?'.  I was laughing too hard to reply.  Especially the bit where Dick Dastardly's boss shouts at him as he is falling from a plane and the boss's hand comes out of the phone and takes Dick Dastardly's medal off.  I was also appreciating for the first time the  Romanian background music and the quality of the painted backdrop.

R wandered off, bored.

He likes watching the only thing more boring than Cricket on Radio 4 longwave;  commentated video games, eg  Ah, here we go, ooo, crash bang explode, oh yes, well, I'm not sure he should have done that explode bang whizzz...now the thing about this is...ooo, ah well...

DRAT AND DOUBLE DRAT CURSES AND SOME MORE DRAT THAT DOES IT MY FINE FEATHERED ENEMY!

Just think, in the 70s we thought it was rubbish, now we realise it is ART