Recipe for Big Courgettes and Breadcrumbs

There are two things in my life that I'm never quite sure what to do with (well, there are a lot more, but let's make a start), large courgettes, the ones that have grown too big to be cooked like ordinary courgettes, and leftover bread.  I've come up with a recipe which tackles both and is voted delicious by my family.

Vegetable Gallettes
Take a couple of handfuls of breadcrumbs (I make mine in the magimix)
Mixed herbs (I use fresh from garden but dried is fine)
Salt and pepper
A couple of handfuls of maize flour (gives crisp texture and golden colour, but if you can't get it choose another "pre-cooked" flour such as barley or oat, but I think it would work with wheatflour too)
Grated easy-to-fry vegetables:  I use a carrot, an onion and the end chunk of a big courgette (pull out the pith and peel with the older ones as the outside and middle is tough, also the cut courgette keeps happily in the fridge)
Any bits of leftover cheese you have, soft or hard (not essentiel)
1 or 2 eggs (for the quantity I have here I used 2 eggs, or can use 1 egg and add a bit of water, oil, or anything else vaguely wet which you think would taste nice, so the mixture forms a slightly crumby paste).

Spoon into hot oil in frying pain, spread out flat with a fork, and fry each side until golden brown and firm.

Best prepared and cooked and eaten straight away.

Conseils Pour Mon Fils

(for English version scroll down)

COMMENT SURVIVRE AU COLLEGE

Mon très cher fils R, tu es un chevalier, tu dois suivre ton chemin à travers les routes de ce monde...

phot de owlylady.com/animals.html 

•  
• Comportement de Gorille "Dos Argenté"...soit patient avec les professeurs qui sentent le besoin d'établir leur dominance au début du trimestre en montrant des postures d'agression.   Rassure-les que tu es un gentil petit gorille obéissant, et peut-être ils ne se sentiront plus besoin de frapper leur poitrine, au moins pas envers toi... 
• Un Chevalier est Toujours Prêt...il ne part jamais en quête sans vérifier qu'il a tout son équipement avec lui et que son armure est en place.  Vérifie chaque jour que tu as tous qu'il te faut, jusqu'à dans le moindre détail. De ne pas faire tes devoirs est de laisser une faille dans ton armure.  Fait le bien, fait le toute de suite.  Je suis ton armurière, je t'aiderai.  
• Garde le Silence...ne rien lâcher, écoute, observe...
• Ne cherche pas L'amitié...on ne peut pas le forcer, tu le sais mieux que moi.  Le vraie amitié, la bonté viens s'il ou elle veut bien...pour moi, tu ne sera jamais une statistique anonyme dans une organisation vaste, je me réjouie en ton compagnie!
• Trouve le chemin...voici quelques indices:  il se trouve entre casser ton esprit et se rebeller, entre dire trop et ne pas dire assez, il n'est ni trop en avance ni en arrière.  Ne t'assois jamais au dernier rang, pour un professeur c'est synonyme de problématique!   Lève toujours la main quand tu à une réponse et ne te plis jamais sur toi même.  Apres quelques temps le professeur va voir que tu lève toujours la main, et elle ne te posera jamais les questions car elle doit être juste avec les autres.  Lève ta main quand même, c'est une formation de gym, lève la main droite et puis la main gauche pour te muscler; on appelle ça "participer en classe".  Mais ne jamais te laisser t'endormir avec le main levée, car quand le professeur te demande la réponse tu sera HUMILIE! 
• Maintenir ta flamme en vie...garde ton esprit vif, tes rires et tes blagues, oui, que ta flamme se brûlent a l'intérieur de toi!  Rentre et partage tes sourires et tes blagues avec moi, avec tes amis et tes bien aimés.  
• Aiguise ton couteau..aiguise ton esprit, améliore tes performances d'organisation, deviens capable et efficace, amuse toi à voir jusqu'à quelle hauteur peut sauter tes notes, sois heureux pour le réussit des autres et sympathise quand ils ne réussissent pas, et garder le même attitude envers toi-même.  Sois décontracté, présent et vigilant, deviens fort. 
• La Mission...peut être un jour tu te sentira apellé et capable de contribuer d'une façon ou une autre aux changements dont nous avons tous tellement besoin.   Que tu puisse jouer ton rôle à soulager les souffrances du monde.  

Continuing Tales of the French School: Rules Punishment & Administration

Detention Detention Detention
Today R came back from school and said that the headmistress had had 32 pupils banged to rights for wearing shorts.   According to R she strode about the school pointing at anyone in shorts shouting Detention Detention Detention and sending them scurrying to the school office to have their books signed and stamped Detention Saturday Morning.   Pupils must carry their book at all times or face untold detention.  The Headmistress, we'll call her Mrs Scruton (after Adrian Mole)  appears to have decided quite by herself without consulting anyone and for reasons best known to herself that shorts were banned.  She sounds a lot like the Red Queen in Alice Through the Looking Glass.

I may have made a few Remarks at this point and JC felt the need for balance and he said:  "Well, the Headmistress was nice to me about one thing when I phoned her,  she asked me for Form 11 Liaison which I didn't have so I said why do you need it when you have the report and she said but I need Form 11 Liaison and I said what form and after a considerable amount of discussion along the same lines she said "Oh never mind".  (You have to remember JC is himself a victim of French education which explains why he thinks this was nice and you have to know JC to understand just how tedious such a conversation with him can be).

"That's funny"  I said "Guess what the first thing was that she got the secretary to ask me when I went in to enroll R?"

"What?"  said JC innocently

"Form 11 Liaison".  My eyebrows are at their highest and most sarcastic position at this point.    "She did make time to pass this message on, even though she was of course too busy to see me...or to concern herself with education or the wellbeing of children."

"Oh" said JC.

This is what is going in instead of education.

Class Life of Administration
R has a lesson of one hour called Class Life (Vie de Classe).  This week the pupils did their homework and drew cartoons while the teacher spent the entire hour going through the forms that 30 parents had filled in and delivered.  I am proud of my 24 hour turnaround, filling in all 15 forms 3 of which were double sided and one cheque.  One thing was missing, a chit confirming that my child is insured, the insurance company said they would send it but did not.  The teacher noticed IMMEDIATELY and became distressed.  We have to remember that her professional life depends on this sort of thing, and a Higher Administrator above her will come down on her at the slightest excuse.

"You've got to send it in straight away"  said R.

"But I've got until the 10th, it says so in the letter " I whined.

"Well she says she has to have it now, she's not in on the 10th".

Sapristi Knuckoes!  I hastened to telephone the insurance company to find out why the form had not been emailed to me as I requested.  A form had been emailed;  to the wrong address.  It was the wrong form.  For some reason I was unable to hear or understand, they couldn't email the form I needed, it's against the rules.    I accepted, somewhat ungraciously,  for it to be faxed urgently to a bank in town.  At this point JC chose to tell me they have already sent it, and found it at the bottom of a draw.

God, all this is going on instead of living.

Postscript
I am utterly intrigued to know how the French parents of the 32 short-wearing children will react.  Will they keel over and say "Rules is Rules"even though it's 30 degrees,  they had already bought the shorts and nobody knew it would suddenly be against the rules.    Will they dress up in shorts and hats and stampede the Headmistress's office to complain, as a matter of principal or principle?  Or will they find some devious and underhand method of rebelling and getting revenge?   WATCH  THIS  SPACE!

Conseils Pour Mon Fils

(for English version scroll down)

COMMENT SURVIVRE AU COLLEGE

Mon très cher fils R, tu es un chevalier, tu dois suivre ton chemin à travers les routes de ce monde...

phot de owlylady.com/animals.html

•  
• Comportement de Gorille "Dos Argenté"...soit patient avec les professeurs qui sentent le besoin d'établir leur dominance au début du trimestre en montrant des postures d'agression.   Rassure-les que tu es un gentil petit gorille obéissant, et peut-être ils ne se sentiront plus besoin de frapper leur poitrine, au moins pas envers toi... 
• Un Chevalier est Toujours Prêt...il ne part jamais en quête sans vérifier qu'il a tout son équipement avec lui et que son armure est en place.  Vérifie chaque jour que tu as tous qu'il te faut, jusqu'à dans le moindre détail. De ne pas faire tes devoirs est de laisser une faille dans ton armure.  Fait le bien, fait le toute de suite.  Je suis ton armurière, je t'aiderai.  
• Garde le Silence...ne rien lâcher, écoute, observe...
• Ne cherche pas L'amitié...on ne peut pas le forcer, tu le sais mieux que moi.  Le vraie amitié, la bonté viens s'il ou elle veut bien...pour moi, tu ne sera jamais une statistique anonyme dans une organisation vaste, je me réjouie en ton compagnie!
• Trouve le chemin...voici quelques indices:  il se trouve entre casser ton esprit et se rebeller, entre dire trop et ne pas dire assez, il n'est ni trop en avance ni en arrière.  Ne t'assois jamais au dernier rang, pour un professeur c'est synonyme de problématique!   Lève toujours la main quand tu à une réponse et ne te plis jamais sur toi même.  Apres quelques temps le professeur va voir que tu te lève toujours la main, et elle ne te posera jamais les questions car elle doit être juste avec les autres.  Lève ta main quand même, c'est une formation de gym, lève la main droite et puis la main gauche pour te muscler; on appelle ça "participer en classe".  Mais ne jamais te laisser t'endormir avec le main levée, car quand le professeur te demande la réponse tu sera HUMILIE! 
• Maintenir ta flamme en vie...garde ton esprit vif, tes rires et tes blagues, oui, que ta flamme se brûlent a l'intérieur de toi!  Rentre et partage tes sourires et tes blagues avec moi, avec tes amis et tes bien aimés.  
• Aiguise ton couteau..aiguise ton esprit, améliore tes performances d'organisation, deviens capable et efficace, amuse toi à voir jusqu'à quelle hauteur peut sauter tes notes, sois heureux pour le réussit des autres et sympathise quand ils ne réussissent pas, et garder le même attitude envers toi-même.  Sois décontracté, présent et vigilant, deviens fort. 
• La Mission...peut être un jour tu te sentira apellé et capable de contribuer d'une façon ou une autre aux changements dont nous avons tous tellement besoin.   Que tu puisse jouer ton rôle à soulager les souffrances du monde.  

Advice For My Son

HOW TO SURVIVE THE FRENCH FACTORY SCHOOL

My beloved son R, you are a knight and you have to go out into this world...

• Silver Back Gorilla Behaviour:  be patient with the teachers who feel the need to establish their dominance at the beginning of term by displays of overt aggression, reassure them that you are an 

  

  http://owlylady.com/animals.html 

  obedient little gorilla, then perhaps they won't feel the need to beat their chests so often, at least not in your direction.
• A Knight is Always Prepared...and never sets out on a quest without all his equipment and his armour in place.  Make sure you have everything you need down to the last colour-specified pen and grid-measured paper.  Not doing your homework is like leaving a chink in your armour, do it now and do it well, I am your Armourer, I will help you.
• Keep silence...give nothing away,  listen, observe...
• Do not seek Friendship...it cannot be forced...genuine friendship and goodness will come to you if it will, whether from teacher or child, but you know this better than me.  For me you will never be a number in a system, and I rejoice in your company!
• Find The Path...here are some clues, it is between having your spirit broken and rebellion, between saying too much and not saying enough...not too foward, not too backwards.  Never sit on the back row, for a teacher, that means trouble.  Always put your hand up when you have an answer, never shout out and never be seen to slump at the back or stare longingly out of the window.    After a while the teacher will see that you always put your hand up and will not ask you any more because she has to give everyone a turn.  Put your hand up anyway, think of it as gym training, use the right and then the left arm to build up your muscles.  This is called "participating in class".  However, do not doze off with your hand in the air because the teacher is sure you ask you at that moment and you will be DISCREDITED!
• Keep the flame burning inside...keep your spirit and your laughter and your jokes burning inside, and come back and share them with me and with your friends and loved ones.
• Sharpen your Sword..use this experience to sharpen your spirit and hone in your organisational skills,  to become capable and quick in your work, amuse yourself by seeing how high you can get with your marks, be happy when those around you suceed and sympathetic when they don't, and feel the same way about yourself, stay relaxed, present and alert, become strong.
• The Mission...perhaps one day you will feel called upon and capable of bringing in the changes we so need.  May you play your role in relieving the suffering of this world.

Bright bright sunshiney house

La Rentrée: Back to School French Style

WARNING  Do not read this if you are of a sensitive disposition, it contains distressing material.


It is La Rentree (back to school time).  All the Parisian region families have returned bronzed from their hols in the south and Depression sets in:  back to school (a torture) back to work (a torture), autumn, winter, the Fun is Over, everyone falls ill within the first two weeks, the doctors take on extra staff.  Well they don't actually, they don't even have receptionists most of them, they just get stressed and have very long waiting times because you can't join any club without having a certificate saying you are not particularly likely to drop dead during the Tai Chi class and everyone joins clubs in September as well as it being La Rentree.

This year R is going to the local secondary school or Collège.

School reception says "stay away unless you are an inmate..."

This is the school Reception, known in France as the Accueil, a misnoma in this case as it means "welcome".  The receptionist always has the photocopier on, she's not keen to lose her place and answer the door.  After a while you start peering through the bars to see if she's there.  It's raining.   Eventually she lets you in, fronts you from behind a large desk where you stand dripping, trying to explain why you are here.

Expecting trouble?

Keep out, keep in...

 I am the sworn enemy of the French National Education it is the sworn enemy of me if it bothers to notice me at all,  it just has to read my name on a piece of paper and things start to go wrong.

First of all the school did not reply at all, verbally or in writing,  to our request for a place (our legal entitlement sent registered post) in fact they lost our letter and it turned up at the local council;  the only contact we had was when we phoned them.  They put us off told us several deliberate lies, told us to wait and finally told JC to phone back on the 15h July, at which point the school was closed.  All perfectly normal according to my research.

After having applied to the Inspectors and other Academic Powers we were told the school jolly well had to take our child and to go back and tell 'em they said so.  R was enrolled, begrudgingly, 5 days before the start of term.

 French authorities, customer services and especially schools, like to say NO.

NO you may not meet the headmistress or any of the staff or see the school
NO we will not meet your child or show him round
NO he cannot be in a class with the only person he knows
NO we don't like him from looking at his (professionally risible) report and no we won't meet him to find out if any of it is actually true
NO he can't do German even though he's studied for 5 years, the class is full
NO wearing shorts, this is not the beach
NO hats
NO putting chewing gum under the seats
NO talking in class
NO forgetting your homework immediate punishment
NO you may not know where the toilets are

Oh God, the list goes on.  As far as R can report, nothing positive was said on the first day at all, oh NO.

The headmistress has the usual profile:  fiendish administrator and nit picker, totally unapproachable and unreasonable, does not like children, probably certifiably sociopathic, her word is law, spends the first few weeks of each term asserting her dominance over new parents with all the subtlety of a silver back gorilla.  I take that back, this is an insult to gorillas.

It is clear after minimum contact with this school that, as I suspected  this child factory is no exception to the French norm;   it has no concern whatsoever for the welfare or development of children or the particular identity of any particular child, no insights into what a child is or what education should or could be.   Instructions are given out, replies are not requested.   R was so pressured to copy the instructions of the board that his writing was practically illegible - if you don't get it down NOW the teacher rubs it off the board.  I'm aching for the slow writers and the dyslexic children.  The school nurse sends out a note to say that many pupils have been coming to her suffering with the symptoms of stress, she tells us we should all reassure our children that they can cope.    Well that should do the trick.

As a parent of a child in a French College or secondary school, you are required to have the following profile and function:

• Be on hand at all times to receive instructions and obey them instantly
• Sign and return all the notes that the school sends out immediately upon reception
• Be a gifted administrator (25 chits and irksome tasks to perform on the first day, paper piled high, I'm ready to visit the school nurse myself...)
• Drive your child to perform and conform as requested, no more no less
• Show no initiative, ask no questions, never explain never complain

I've done my duty.  I have followed the 15 pages of instructions to the letter.  One form was repeated 4 times.  I filled it in four times.  I was feeling paranoid about this, maybe they are doing it on purpose to torture me, but in the waiting room at the Orthodentist I saw a highly successful and glamorous French parent  from Neuilly with slim jeans and pedacured toes filling in the same sort of thing,  mouthing "WHAT, why are they asking me all this again, I have already filled out the same information 3 times...".  I spent the required two and a half hours at the supermarket buying 150 Euros worth of equipment following the descriptions thereof to the letter.  I have covered the 11 large textbooks they forced R to carry home on the first day with clear plastic and corner reinforcers.  I paid up my fee for the school association.  Other than that I have spent my time biting my lip, hand elbow and arm in an attempt not to TELL THEM WHAT I THINK  and thereby ruining R's school career.  

R says:  just sign the inevitable notes of complaint and forget about it.

I say:  do not get caught declaring "life's a beach" wearing shorts and a hat sticking chewing gum under the table having forgotten your homework.

The teacher from Salinger's Catcher in the Rye says "Life is a game boy, life is a game"  (did not mean a gameboy, had not been invented).

Says Peter Gumble  http://www.petergumbel.fr/en/the-book 

71 % of French school children suffer regularly from irritability.

63 % complain about bouts of nervousness.

One in four has tummy aches or headaches once a week, or more frequently.

40 % have difficulty sleeping.

Why is France the only country in the world that discourages children because of what they cannot do, rather than encouraging them to do what they can? 

Horn Comb Hairdressing

I was called out to the front for a coiffing demonstration.  I had decided not to wash my hair that morning believing it would make me late for holiday fun and anyway nobody would notice as I was on holiday.   Isn't it always the way!   But anyway I got up and presented my high static free-to-tangle hair.

Thierry insisted on combing from bottom to top (but still root to tip), and after a short tussle, the audience gasped in amazement.

"Some people say it's as if they can't feel the weight of their hair" said Thierry, "Shake your head - see how the hair follows the movement?"

Well of course I couldn't see the results, although it felt pretty good,  so after the presentation was over I brought Thierry the ultimate challenge, my second born son, who lives by the maxim "it looks better when it hasn't been combed"  "Help yourself" said Thierry, passing me a comb (he just wasn't going there).

BEFORE:  "It looks better when it's not combed" says R

But, after a short tussle, Sapristi Knuckoes, a transformation takes place!  A makes-your-mother-proud unified colour enhanced silky style!  With my new horn comb, never again will I ask "have you combed your hair" just after he's combed it!

He combs, under protest...

Sapristi Knuckoes, transformation!

Swathes of silky static-free hair!

Where were we?    At a living museum in the Ariege Pyrenees, (Les Forges de Pyrène) where historical skills and crafts are demonstrated by artisans who still practise them, and sell their products, fantastic day out!  http://www.grands-sites-ariege.fr).

In the old days we made our combs from cow horn, composed of keratin like our hair, it obliterates static and breakage, is kind to scalps, fashioned by human hands, has pleasing organic colour variations and a warm silky feel.  The combs can warp, which hairdressers find a problem for cutting but doesn't worry me as we are all a bit warped dear, and if you drop them, they can lose a tooth.

Thierry is outraged that nowadays in Europe we cut off cows horns.  Ariege is known for its extreme left wing politics and Thierry is outraged about a number of things which I don't quite understand,  including the horns, but now I look into it, I too am outraged about the horn cutting (more about this later)  Thierry explains that they need mature horns to make combs because they use the thick bit at the base, and that in reviving this regional artisanal industry they have had to import the horns from Argentina where they allow their horned cattle to roam free.

If you are interested in a horn comb for life, you can buy one at this site  http://peignecorne.com/peigne.htm             The site is somewhat understated.  The slogan "Your Grandmother Used One Why Not You?" doesn't do anything for me, and provokes immediate objections such as:

1.My grandmother didn't use one
2 Why would I aspire to be like my grandmothers in this or any other respect?
3 Go on, you tell me!

The product is better than the marketing.

COW'S HORNS

 
See  www.gstaadlife.com for another view on cow horns hot from Switzerland...

I have learned that in Biodynamic Agriculture (like it tick box twitter twitter) that cows' horns are observed to be a sort of sense organ which helps to give each animal an awareness of where it is in relation to its surroundings, and of its own metabolism and identity.  Thus a cow with horns feels and needs a "space" of 2-3 metres around her, is particular about what she eats, a bit of a character, a good mother, happy healthy and on a biodynamic farm can live for 15 years in good health without chemical intervention, producing excellent milk.

Intensive farmers cut off horns. Most farmers cut of the horns.   If you measure success uniquely by milk yields and want to cram as many cow-commodities into as small a space as possible and would prefer the cows to lose their sense of identity and dejectedly ingest unatural feed and make no fuss, then you would choose horn cutting.    Result:  sad drifter cows which get ill and have to be dosed with medicines, harmed cow, harmed environment and what quality the milk?

Food for thought eh?  (see this trailer for a film which will tell you more http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmrQ75xaFck )