Detention Detention Detention
Today R came back from school and said that the headmistress had had 32 pupils banged to rights for wearing shorts. According to R she strode about the school pointing at anyone in shorts shouting Detention Detention Detention and sending them scurrying to the school office to have their books signed and stamped Detention Saturday Morning. Pupils must carry their book at all times or face untold detention. The Headmistress, we'll call her Mrs Scruton (after Adrian Mole) appears to have decided quite by herself without consulting anyone and for reasons best known to herself that shorts were banned. She sounds a lot like the Red Queen in Alice Through the Looking Glass.
I may have made a few Remarks at this point and JC felt the need for balance and he said: "Well, the Headmistress was nice to me about one thing when I phoned her, she asked me for Form 11 Liaison which I didn't have so I said why do you need it when you have the report and she said but I need Form 11 Liaison and I said what form and after a considerable amount of discussion along the same lines she said "Oh never mind". (You have to remember JC is himself a victim of French education which explains why he thinks this was nice and you have to know JC to understand just how tedious such a conversation with him can be).
"That's funny" I said "Guess what the first thing was that she got the secretary to ask me when I went in to enroll R?"
"What?" said JC innocently
"Form 11 Liaison". My eyebrows are at their highest and most sarcastic position at this point. "She did make time to pass this message on, even though she was of course too busy to see me...or to concern herself with education or the wellbeing of children."
"Oh" said JC.
This is what is going in instead of education.
Class Life of Administration
R has a lesson of one hour called Class Life (Vie de Classe). This week the pupils did their homework and drew cartoons while the teacher spent the entire hour going through the forms that 30 parents had filled in and delivered. I am proud of my 24 hour turnaround, filling in all 15 forms 3 of which were double sided and one cheque. One thing was missing, a chit confirming that my child is insured, the insurance company said they would send it but did not. The teacher noticed IMMEDIATELY and became distressed. We have to remember that her professional life depends on this sort of thing, and a Higher Administrator above her will come down on her at the slightest excuse.
"You've got to send it in straight away" said R.
"But I've got until the 10th, it says so in the letter " I whined.
"Well she says she has to have it now, she's not in on the 10th".
Sapristi Knuckoes! I hastened to telephone the insurance company to find out why the form had not been emailed to me as I requested. A form had been emailed; to the wrong address. It was the wrong form. For some reason I was unable to hear or understand, they couldn't email the form I needed, it's against the rules. I accepted, somewhat ungraciously, for it to be faxed urgently to a bank in town. At this point JC chose to tell me they have already sent it, and found it at the bottom of a draw.
God, all this is going on instead of living.
Postscript
I am utterly intrigued to know how the French parents of the 32 short-wearing children will react. Will they keel over and say "Rules is Rules"even though it's 30 degrees, they had already bought the shorts and nobody knew it would suddenly be against the rules. Will they dress up in shorts and hats and stampede the Headmistress's office to complain, as a matter of principal or principle? Or will they find some devious and underhand method of rebelling and getting revenge? WATCH THIS SPACE!
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