Three School Tales

Story One
Yesterday some pupils in R's class dared to put their hands up and ask 'Sir, what is the point?' of some exercise or other, and the teacher, racking his brains, came up with:

"Le savoir c'est le pouvoir";  Knowledge is Power.  (You have to remember that education is one-pointed in France.  You aquire knowledge by being miserable over a long period of time but at the end of it you can become a Big Boss and enjoy using your power to make everyone under you miserable).

"Knowledge is Power?  Oh no it isn't!" said the class, enjoying the pantomime and employing delaying tactics.

"Well you tell me who there is in power who doesn't have knowledge?" replied the teacher.

Up creaks R's hand;

"Hollande, Sir!".

Even the teacher laughed apparently


(In a reference to a hostage situation in Algeria in January of this year, in which 10 Japanese people were killed, Hollande expressed  “the condolences of the French people to the Chinese people.”

The mistake was not corrected, and it could not have made his Japanese hosts happy to be mistaken for their most bitter rivals  International Times).

Story Two
Last week the traditional and strict French teacher (Known as Confucius in our family) introduced a radical liberal touchy-feely method into the class.  She asked each class member to mark the work of the person next door and add up the score.

The French Teacher "Madame Confucius"

Obviously in a school were all the pupils are treated like criminals, such laxity could only encourage an enterprising crime spree:  this was far too good an opportunity to miss, and 'everyone' (according to R, read quite a few people I suspect) set off on an unfair marking bonanza,  slashing their neighbours' scores by half.

R had the presence of mind to find the teacher's unaccustomed liberalism suspicious, especially as it was blatently obvious that 'everybody' was cheating so he decided to mark his neighbour's work fairly. (The boy is Cunning and a Born Survivor, although not yet Honorable).

The teacher waited until the moment she collected the tests to announce that she would be taking off minus 2 points for every incorrect mark given to one's dear neighbour.     R swears she was hiding a snigger behind her hand.  R's eyes glazed in ecstasy for several days afterwards, as he remembered the panic-stricken scramble to scribble out the wrong marks before the teacher took in the work...

Story Three
 "Today is National Music Day.  You must all Enjoy Yourselves' said the English teacher in a strong French accent.  She did not explain how this was to be achieved according to R.

'That's strange' I replied, 'Enjoying yourself has no place in the serious business of French education and is, au contraire, strongly discouraged'.

'It was a supply teacher, not the normal English teacher' said R, by way of explanation.

What  puzzles me is how is she going to ensure her instructions are carried out ?  Minus 20 points for being miserable, +10 for being happy I should imagine.